Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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