i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
