im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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