why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
