Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
