dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
