Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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