My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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