Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
