if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Drake has all the answers
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize