we have officially lost it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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