And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
