Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...