You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
