My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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