Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
