so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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