Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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