fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra