I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.