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I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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