can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
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you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
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His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.