Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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