Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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