Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize