I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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