Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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