i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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