I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....