Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Ppl just aren't as funny as we are

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(847): Ppl just aren't as funny as we are http://tfl.nu/yoyk

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(847): View more from Illinois

dude, osama threatened the US again

(1-847): View more from Illinois

dude. i slept with your sister last night

(847): View more from Illinois

what?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news

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(847): dude, osama threatened the US again (1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night (847): what? (1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news http://tfl.nu/r4dc

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(636): View more from Missouri

His pubic hair was longer than his dick

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(636): His pubic hair was longer than his dick http://tfl.nu/f6nh

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(716): View more from New York

i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control

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(716): i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control http://tfl.nu/09xh

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(213): View more from California

How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

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(213): How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know. http://tfl.nu/sm0x

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man

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(215): and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man http://tfl.nu/boh9

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(732): View more from New Jersey

dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?

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(732): dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund? http://tfl.nu/31zq

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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(704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z

Replies (35) Good night (426) Bad night (4712)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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(267): You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room http://tfl.nu/2vn0

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.

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(604): Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not. http://tfl.nu/n7ii

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(770): View more from Georgia

One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.

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(770): One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood. http://tfl.nu/oyug

Replies (14) Good night (439) Bad night (2534)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.

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(651): College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars. http://tfl.nu/lcai

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(314): View more from Missouri

Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"

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(314): Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do" http://tfl.nu/rrgq

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(312): View more from Illinois

You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?

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(312): You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time? http://tfl.nu/pzpq

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(509): View more from Washington

This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.

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(509): This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats. http://tfl.nu/orv1

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