What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..