Betty ford says i'm here all night
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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vagina is talking i cant
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?