I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize