How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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