I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize