so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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