What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.