just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.