bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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