actually, I'm a sock model
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
