Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
