I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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