Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm just crazy horny about you
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize