did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..