nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
