I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
