In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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