Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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