dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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