Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
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Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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