I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize