You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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