pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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