Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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