***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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