i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize