dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
