kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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